Posted by: Raws | March 29, 2011

Writing Limbo 2: Introducing Characters

When I write I always find it unnatural inserting physical descriptions of my characters into my story.  I’m used to working things like a screenplay because that’s how it goes inside my mind.  So, nonchalantly adding these things in is hard for me since I don’t have much experience doing it. To me it interferes with the flow of the story. But in reading many books I’ve found authors keep things vague in times where atmosphere and emotion are key.

So in this next part of the story I started creating two versions. One with more descriptions, colored by one character’s view (Martin). And the other more streamlined (still from Martin) but without the references to the world they live in and more about the current situation. I was trying to blend the two but when I analysed it  I realized I can do the physical descriptions later once things calm down.

People like fast paced stories. I know I do.

So here’s the start of chapter 1 in Limbo.


Chapter 1

Martin wanted to yell in triumph once they got through, but no one else seemed to share his enthusiasm. The only reminder of their passage now was a filmy residue lingering on his skin.

The atmosphere was almost as unbearable as the quiet. A tense silence passed while Martin waited for some sign from his brother that everything was okay. Finally Anthony relaxed and turned to share a smile with Ren next to him. She was the reason this whole thing started. Without her none of them would’ve met and he would’ve been sitting alone in his room wondering what to do when Anthony abandoned him for college.

He couldn’t help but smile back when Ren turned toward him. He followed her gaze to Cyra sitting beside him.  She grasped his hand and gave him one of her stunning smiles, blue eyes glittering with excitement.

She was the kindest person Martin knew. Looking at her always calmed him and she never discounted his opinions even when the others did. Just because he was thirteen didn’t mean he was dumb.

His chest tightened as Cyra’s face fell and withdrew her hand to follow the other’s gazes. The warm feeling in Martin’s stomach chilled to stone as they all turned their eyes to the last occupant of the car; Zander.

The little color his skin usually held was gone. His body rigid and shiny with sweat. The moment stretched in freeze frame until Zander moved a quivering hand up to his face. Cyra intercepted his with her own, holding his one hand between her two. When their eyes locked on each others the chill in the air seeped away.  Martin sucked in a breath of air as he watched the look of fear in Zander’s eyes disappear under Cyra’s calm.

The moment was gone as Zander released a nervous laugh, looking down when Cyra let go of his hand.

“Sorry,” he breathed, running a shaking hand through his hair. “I’m fine.”


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