Posted by: Raws | January 30, 2011

Sharing Old Stories and Naming Issues

The following is a very short story I wrote in high school for my first and only creative writing class. It features some of my characters from my story, Limbo. Since I lost the original computer files I had to type it up again and in doing so changed a few things.  I did some editing.  In 2009 I narrowed down the names of my main characters for Limbo. After looking critically at the original names I decided to change a few.

I’ve always liked Ren and Zander but when I thought of Sarah all I could think about was our dog that passed away and people I know who share the name.  So I went looking for a suitable replacement. I found one that sounded similar (in my mind at least) and can mean ‘sun’; Cyra. I’m not sure if it’s pronounced with a hard c or not. To me it’s soft like Sir-a.

Pronunciation always bugs me. Like with another one of my characters. His name is Gaven but my sister teased me and pronounced it Gave-in not Gah-ven. Grrr.

Anyway, here’s my story about Ren and Cyra’s first encounter with Zander.

Creating Amity

A small girl, about the age of seven, peered around the corner of the door to see out the floor-to-ceiling windows. She had waited there since breakfast in the doorway; sitting underneath the closed upper half of the country-style door. It was designed so the tenant of the apartment complex could talk to a renter by just opening the top of the door, which had a handy little shelf and bell attached to it so they could leave it open if anyone wanted to talk with them.

An old woman came up behind the girl and knelt beside her.

“Ren, they aren’t going to get here sooner by you just waiting.”

“I know Gran’ma.”

Ren stared out the window even more intently for any sign of them.

“I just want to be here when they arrive.”

“I thought as much.” Ren’s grandmother left her to her waiting.

She had told Ren a new boy would be arriving that day with his father to live in one of the free apartments upstairs on the third floor.  Ren had no other friends besides her best friend Cyra. Her goal today was to make friends with the new kid. The only thing she didn’t like was waiting.

Beyond the dusty floor-to-ceiling window a car pulled up to the curb followed by a small moving van. The car jerked to a stop as its driver put it into park.  An agitated looking man pushed the driver’s door open stepping out into a lonely street. A boy, the same age as Ren, sat in the back seat playing with two worn-out action figures.

The man grunted out, “stay in the car”, before heading toward the building. The command was forceful but not harsh. The tone hadn’t affected the boy still in the car. He’d gotten used to the way his father now spoke to him; only speaking when he had too.  All this began after his mother and sister had died from a disease.

Outside the car the movers were preparing to begin transferring the boxes into the complex. This would be the third apartment building the pair would be living in since they moved to the city. Despite the recurrence of having to adjust every time they went to a new one, the boy was still curious about what this place would be like. He knew his dad would be angry but staying in the car was boring.

His father had gone in and now was talking with Ren’s grandmother about the rules and regulations of the complex. Ren on the other hand had come outside just as the boy tentatively opened the door.

“What’s your name?” Ren asked, wasting no time with hello’s.

He looked down. “Zander…”

“I’m Ren,” she said smiling. From behind her a door banged open as someone came running out.

“I can’t believe you Ren!” The girl halted next to them trying to regain her breath.

“You didn’t tell me he was here! Why’d you not come get me, huh?”

“Sorry Cyra, I just forgot, I guess.”

“It’s okay.” Cyra gave her a mischievous smile. “We might still be friends.”

Zander, feeling left out, tried to slowly withdraw until Ren turned to him.

“Why don’t you come in?”

“Yeah! We’ll show you all the cool places.”

Cyra took his hand and led him into the building with Ren right behind them. By the end of the day Ren knew the three of them would be friends for a long time.

~~ending line is a bit sappy

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Categories

%d bloggers like this: