Posted by: Raws | December 15, 2007

Back In the States

I’m still missing Japan…

I also am glad I have school to look forward to despite all the horrors it holds. One being the fact that I hate classes and they bare me little satisfaction. At work I felt like I was accomplishing something and going there held little fear for me.  I found that I hate responsibility and that it is the source of my fears. This also being failure. I’m such a perfectionist that I’ve come to fear responsibilities. 

I should probably write this in my journal, but then it wouldn’t be read and therefore it wouldn’t be dealt with at all.  My journals started as blatherings of current events in my life and/or daily assignments for school. Then they became for writing stories, plot-lines, and my dreams from which most of my stories come to life.  Now there are no assignments written in these journals, but current events, dreams, and stories still flow from my pen.  The only difference now is that they are written in nice cursive lettering that I began using in Japan.

I lost track of my thoughts there. It happens without that stuff in my system.  I got an earful from my doctor about that whole mess.  It keeps my fears at bay but also my emotions, which need to be at bay sometimes.

:End Post:



  1. Are you still glad about school?
    We should totally mark 30 min a day for blog/journal time. And write about our dreams first tihing in the morning.

    We still need “angry letters to great authors” day.

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